“Mend the relationships with thyself first before getting another person into yours” ~ prema sunderam
While a lot us enjoys the company of our partner in any relationships, we tend to forget who we are along the way. We dive into a relationships with another person hoping for a cherry-blossom-honey-pancake energetic vibrancy but the moment a black ink tainted it, it all goes haywire. Why? Because things were not going according to our needs, wants or desires. Instead of blaming and trying to change the other person in the relationships (of all and any sort), perhaps we should try to know and understand ourselves first.
Do you love yourself enough to have the discrepancies in the relationships to not taunt you? Have you been true to yourself? Do you criticize you for not being perfect or blaming yourself for any mishaps - it must be you, who else? Are you being your authentic self right now? Have you looked after yourself lately? or were you too busy juggling in between career and being a mother and a wife? do you let yourself overworked until your body sores just so your boss notices your efforts? Do you let yourself being put down by those bullies- feeling humiliated and discouraged?
If I place your dear loved one in all those same situations you were in, would you treat them the same way you would have treated yourself? You’d probably console them, save them from such situations or you’d probably give them the best so they’ll be happy.
Why are you not seeing you as such? As a person worthy of your own love and care. We were brought up in an environment that ‘self-sacrifices’ are the epitome of a good human characteristics. One should be humble and accepting of all that is just so it is beneficial to all - YES, you can be but if it’s pinching your self-worthiness and you are covering them with an excuse of acceptance - that is you faking. Not to them, but to you. You are hurting your self.
Know that you are worthy of your LOVE as much as the love you pour in any other relationships you are in. You are a beautiful person with a magnificent journey ahead. Cherish yourself for the effort, strength and all the miraculous experiences you have had in your life. Your relationships with yourself matters too. The moment you fall in love with yourself, you formed a magical relationships with you. You will begin to understand and know yourself with so much clarity and understanding. The moment you truly know you and love you, you will start to perceive other relationships just as sacred as you have with yourself. Then you will experience the true miracle called YOU being just YOU and wonderfully YOU and your relationships flourishes.
Tools : Date night preparations, get dressed up and an appointment at a classy restaurant - this practice needs the whole day of you being alone - so if you are with family, try to get a hotel room elsewhere - lovingly tell them you need a vacation with yourself! You can totally do this even without the classy restaurant - be your wildest imagination! After all, it is your DATE!
Start the morning waking up excited for your date today. Get really excited! A date with your love of your life is totally ON today! Get super excited! Turn on the music, pump up your energy- FEEL the high vibrancy! Dance as if no one is watching except your ‘date’. You are being authentically true to yourself. Don’t be shy to watch yourself dance - in your ‘date’s’ eyes, YOU ARE PERFECTO!
Once you get the energy hooked on you, order up a nice yummy-licous brunch! Have them in the room - Enjoy your meal all alone with the music on, with the company of yourself! No, No you are not turning on the televisions, no phones either, no Facebook browsing and no tweeting of your whereabouts - TODAY is all about you! Enjoy the comfort of being with you. You can read your favorite novel while waiting for the calmness and love to set into you. Look outside - be it a sunny or a rainy day - both are wonderfully awesome! It has it’s unique mood-lifting effects. Sense the excitements. Think of the things you’d like to do today. What do you enjoy doing? Do all that! Make sure you’re being your authentic self here. Feel the exhilaration of an awesome day! Head out for a spa or a massage, get a manicure and pedicure (for guys too!) - get yourself pampered. Get a coffee, sip them slowly, taste every ounce of it, the bitterness and the sweetness- enjoy your ‘succulent’ moment here!
Now it’s time for your date-night! Do your hair and get really dressed up! Take a serviced-car for your ride to the restaurant - order the most delicious meal and enjoy them. Just be in your company. Think about the things you’d love about you. Think about the things you have achieved in life so far. Converse in your mind about you as of you are talking with your partner on a date-night. If you want, you can even write them up - just to keep things real. Mind wanders easily when you let it drift along the sights you see around. Or you might even feel a little weird of being dressed up and eating out alone - IT”S TOTALLY ALL RIGHT! Think of all the things you enjoyed doing the whole day, all by yourself! What’s wrong dining with yourself? Now, you don’t want to be talking to yourself literally (wink wink) - I just watched a movie wherein a lady was asked to go on a similar date alone and she started conversing (like in real time) as if she is talking to another version of her by turning her head left and right - we don’t want to create attentions to ourselves on our date night, do we? Ask yourself what are your dreams and desires in life. I leave the imaginations to you for this one!
Before you sleep, recollect the experiences of the whole day. How did you feel? What did you do? What have you discovered about you? Did you even realize you can salsa your body in-tune with the awesome music? Give compliments to your antics! Pat yourself on yourself saying “Way to go, Love!” or “Awesome Day, Dude!” Give thanks for this day and be grateful for a wonderful date with yourself.
Love yourself as much as you would unto others. You deserve it too.